How Could I...

How could I have thought I could possibly get back to the swing of things so soon after moving.  It's been over a month since my last post and I'm still getting settled in my new home.  I'm trying to get into a routine for myself and it's not happening yet.  My time for baking and creating has considerably been cut due to my commute to/from home.  I no longer have the luxury of getting home and saying "oh, I think I'll do some baking tonight or work on an art project!"  There is no tonight.  Whatever is left of night, is dedicated to eating dinner and going to bed shortly thereafter.  My only option is the weekends, and those are still being taken up by other things non creative or fun.  I'm not complaining, just frustrated.  I know when looking at the bigger picture, I have a lot to be grateful for...

On occasion I dash out to my backyard and leave seeds for Cardinals, Doves, Finches and the like.  An act I would have never guessed would bring so much.  Yesterday I bought a window bird-feeder and this morning from my office I saw my first guest: a female Cardinal.  The males are traditionally vibrant red, unlike the females whose colors are either non-existent or very subdued.  But from my window pain I can see the female is underestimated.  Indeed she has color and life of her own.  And at this quite hour of 8am as we are separated by a foggy glass, she pecks away at seeds.  She leaves...then returns with another female companion.  Unbeknownst to them, they are being watched by a fellow female who for some years has viewed parts of her life colorless.  But as I write in this moment, nature is doing what it does best: revives ones inner creativity, brings color to life.  Thank you sister Cardinals.  And for some of you out there: stay strong my fellow sisters who maintain a relationship, have 9am-5pm job, and barely have weekends for "me" stuff -- we are not done yet!

So, below are some pics, including one little baking venture I did manage.  This is Sasha, peaking out from underneath one of our old dressers a couple of days before the big move.  She did not enjoy all the commotion.

In the new house:  Lucien loving his new spot in the sun and an old toy...

Sasha enjoying her new perch and view...

New beach and new friends...

And now: Peanut-Caramel Delight Bars.  To say they're sweet is an understatement, but I was told by those who loved them: "Coffee, this is great with coffee!"  In the end they're a great sweet/salty treat.  Below is the recipe, and if you want the complete details of how I made them feel free to email me.

Base:
1 1/2 Cups all-purpose gluten free flour
1/4 tsp Xantham Gum
2 tsp kosher salt
3/4 cup unsalted butter
2 cups (packed) light brown sugar
2 large eggs
1 tsp vanilla extract

Peanut-Pretzel Caramel
2 1/2 cups roasted unsalted peanuts
2 cups sugar
1/4 cup honey
1/4 cup unsalted butter
1/2 cup heavy cream
1 1/2 cups thin gluten free pretzels, coarsely crushed

Oven: 350 degrees
Baking pan size: 13x9x2

Hello!!...

I'm so excited to be back.  It's been 9 weeks since last I posted.  Hurricane Irene wasn't the only storm we needed to get ready for -- soon after we had to move.  It took weeks, and I mean weeks, to find a safe and clean home, but we did...three weeks ago.  We're in unpacking heaven (or hell) depending on how you look at it.  Don't get me wrong, we’re happy and relieved.   As you can imagine, I've been unable to bake--not even one cookie.  I'm especially sad I couldn't bake anything for my favorite holiday: Halloween.  I'm giving this unpacking business two more weeks, and then....click, click, click.  This weekend, that's the sound my new oven will make as I strike it up in preparation for some baking.  I'm currently looking for a simple recipe to christen the oven.  I can't wait.  Also!, I have some new pictures of the kids I think you'll love.   Look for my post on Sunday!

THOUGHTS & PRAYERS FOR YOUR SAFETY

Hurricane Irene is coming our way, I hope all who are in the same position are taking every step necessary to be safe.  Will be back no later than Monday.  My prayers are with you all, near and far.

The Darlings...

I was expecting a sunny morning for my photo shoot, but instead it is cloudy.  Oh well, I think I got a couple of good shots of the cupcakes I made last night.

The Splendor of Orange Begins #1

My favorite holiday is Halloween, and that means I like all things orange.  To begin commemorating the wonderfully ghoulish holiday, tonight I made Carrot Cake Cupcakes.  Besides my Devil's Food cupcakes, these are the best batch of cups I've made thus far.  I'm really proud of them.  So here goes....

1 1/2 cups of flour
1/2 teaspoon sea salt
1/2 teaspoon baking soda
1/2 tablespoon cinnamon
3 eggs
2 tablespoons grapeseed oil
1/4 cup agave nectar
1 1/2 cups carrots, grated
1/2 cup pecans, toasted then chopped
Oven: 325
Bake: 15-18 minutes (no more)

I used a butter creamcheese top, added grated crystallized ginger, and finished them off with powdered ginger.  Nope, the ginger was not overpowering at all.

I count on daylight to take pictures, but by the time the cupcakes were done and decorated it was evening.  I'll take more pics in the morning and post them.  The other photos are pieces from my book of collages.  Last night I tried getting acquainted with watercolors, just try different things while having fun.  I decided to gently add color to a black&white photo of Jizos.

Widening Channels

I believe in all

I believe in all that has never yet been spoken.
I want to free what waits within me
so that what no one has dared to wish for

may for once spring clear
without my contriving.

If this is arrogant, God, forgive me,
but this is what I need to say.
May what I do flow from me like a river,
no forcing and no holding back,
the way it is with children.

Then in these swelling and ebbing currents,
these deepening tides moving out, returning,
I will sing to you as no one ever has,

streaming through widening channels
into the open sea.

~R.M. Rilke~

Cookies and Black Tie

For the last two weeks I was on the hunt for a dress.  Not just any dress, but a dress that would be appropriate (and comfortable) for a black tie event: a wedding.  I had no time for baking...well barely.  I managed to make cookies, which under the level of stress I was in due to the wedding, they turned out surprisingly good.

Chocolate Peanut Cookies
2 ounces semi sweet chocolate (melted and cooled)
1 1/4 cups all purpose flour
3/4 teaspoon baking soda
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/2 cup (1 stick) butter, softened
1/2 cup packed brown sugar
1/4 cup granulated sugar
2 teaspoons vanilla extract
1 egg
1 1/2 cups coarsely chopped roasted peanuts (I used salted peanuts)
Oven - 375 degrees
Bake - 8 to 9 minutes no more (seriously)

As for the wedding...

I am a small woman, in height, and could not find a dress to save my life.  Certainly not a simple one, nor one I didn't have to alter.  (I came across one beautiful blue gown, but altering it would've meant cutting two feet of material....ugh.)  Eventually I ran out of time and had to settle for a blouse I already owned.  I did all I could not to compare myself to all the glamorous looking women in the room.  The wedding entailed two very distinct but traditional ceremonies:  Hindu and American.  The bride of course looked beautiful...who happened to be my height, so I was glad to see she was able to find dresses.  I am a friend of the groom: I prayed he cared more about the fact that I was there, than the fact that I was the only woman not wearing a dress.  I felt bad.  And those glamorous women?  By end of night were wearing flip-flops on the dance floor.  Wish I had a photo of that!  So much pressure for nothing sometimes.  My guy looked very handsome in his James Bond-ish tuxedo.  I just loved the way he looked and am very lucky, as he is way more than his tux.  In the end, we both had a great time dancing and laughing.  I am not unlike my Chocolate Peanut Cookies: we may not be the prettiest of them all, but we sure are sweet.

Lastly, as would be expected of me, I bought an extra bow-tie for the other handsome man in my life.

For My Pal

Tomorrow is my pal's birthday, so I sent her a large card made out of a page from my 2011 calendar.
The month of May:

I added a cardboard backing and placed stick-on daisies as a way of framing the back, where I wrote a special note to her.  I also made some paper castings with my Rycraft ceramic stamps and placed them on the front of the card.  I did a paper casting of the letter "R", her first name, and placed it right in the middle of the crown seal.  I also made a duck with a bow and canter of flowers.  Below are my collection of Rycraft ceramic stamps...so far.

I did take a picture of the baked goods I sent along with the card.  The original recipe is called Self-Frosting Nutella Cupcakes (found on blogs.babble.com/familykitchen, posted by Juliever).  I decided to make them in my heart shaped silicone pan.  As usual I make everything gluten-free, and I've also gotten into the habit of sifting my flour, baking powder, etc.  I find my batters come out better that way, even when the original recipe doesn't call for it.  In the end, I always go with my instincts.  The results were pretty surprising.  Here's the recipe with a couple of my adjustments in parantheticals...

1/4 cup butter, room temperature
1/4 cup canola or mild vegetable oil (I used canola)
3/4 cup sugar
3 large eggs (I decided to leave them out for room temperature)
1 tsp vanilla
1 3/4 cup all purpose flour
2 tsp baking powder
1/4 tsp sale
1/4 - 1/2 cup Nutella, room temperature (I followed my own instincts when it came to how much Nutella)

I found the batter to be too thick and despite what I used, I was unable to easily swirl in the Nutella.  Baked results...

I wanted the Nutella much more swirled into the batter, so I tried again with leftover batter.  This time I decided to mix the Nutella into the batter with my hands as if it were dough, just work it in a bit.  (FYI: messy.)  They turned out the other extreme, a little too mixed.  Up at the very top of this picture you'll see a couple where the Nutella is much more mixed in.  They almost look like marble hearts.

Either way, I think they turned out to be great little morsels.  Because they were tiny, the consistency turned out to be less of a cupcake and more of a cookie.  Which in the end I was happy with...and I think my pal will be happy too.  Happy 9th Birthday!

When last I wrote I mentioned a project I was going to embark in...I'm still working on it.  It has turned out to be more of an adventure than I expected.  It requires me to do a lot of research and decision making around photos and fabrics: persistance is key.  Eventually it will connect to baking.  I'm grateful for the challenge.  ....I leave you with a quote I recently heard Tavis Smiley from PBS read the other day.  It gave me food for thought.

"Nothing in this world can take the place of persistence.  TALENT will not; nothing is more common than unsuccessful people with talent.  GENIUS will not; unrewarded genius is almost a proverb.  EDUCATION will not; the world is full of educated derelicts.  PERSISTENCE and determination alone are omnipotent.  The slogan "press on" has solved and always will solve the problems of the human race."  by Calvin Coolidge 

Getting Back Into The Flow

Just wanted to share a few words I found in one of my many books: 

A stone cutter may strike a rock ninety-nine times with no apparent effect, not even a crack on the surface. Yet with the hundredth blow, the rock splits in two.  It was not the final blow that did the trick, but all that had gone before.  I may pursue a goal for months without obvious results and become convinced that I am wasting my time.  But if I continue sharing about my struggles and being patient with myself, I may awaken to find that I have changed, seemingly overnight.  Suddenly I have the acceptance and self-confidence I have been seeking.  The results may have revealed themselves abruptly, but I know that all those months of faith and hard work made the changes possible. 

Written By: Anonymous

This helped me get out of a "I'm not as good as others" slump.  I sometimes feel like I'm just running out of time with life.  It was just enough to let light flood the channels of darkness and take me into the flow of creativity.  I now have a project in mind, of which I'm actually quite excited about and will take photos to share with you all....once I'm done.

Well, time to hit the pillow, it's way past midnight...quiet here.  Sasha's asleep under my rocker; Lucien's downstairs asleep in Sasha's bed...hugging his toy mouse I'm sure of it.  I'm one lucky mom.

This Week: Something Chocolate, Something Pink

So I tried out my new heart-shaped silicone pan on Monday.  I made little morsels that ended up packing quite a chocolate punch: tooo rich for me.  And others who tried them?  Well, let's just say they stuck to the one-a-day diet...nevertheless, they slowly disappeared.

To make up for putting my friends through a chocolate overload, I decided to try again my Twilight Swirl Cookies.  This time, with fresh raspberry which were passed through a colander to remove the seeds.  I actually ended up with pink batter, but added a drop of natural food coloring to make them pop just a little more.  Made them last night and ended up with about 60 cookies.  By 5pm today I had 14 left: not bad.  They still need more work, but this time my swirls turned out much better.  It's all a work in progress isn't it...

FOOD PHOTOGRAPHY

I was just viewing my blog and laughed out loud: my counter on the bottom of the page reads 206 visits.  I laughed because I know that 205 of that is me viewing my own site.  I'm amazed sometimes at how many followers other sites have.  I wonder how they did that??  Well, hopefully some day I'll have many followers too.  For now, I feel like my blog lives on a quiet block in the world wide web.  Just a quiet little corner where I enjoy my baking journey, photos and writing.

Well, if someone does happen to visit, I wouldn't mind a suggestion or two on food photography.  I'm really interested in taking a few classes but haven't been able to find any, at least any specific to food.  I also haven't had any luck with finding magazines where the focus is food photography, or food photography tips.  If you happen to visit my site and have any suggestions, please do share...it would be much appreciated.

Next stop: the library.

Have a lovely day you bloggers out there!!  Cheers.

Sweet, Deep & Chocolatey

Inspired by my pilgrimage through botanical gardens and a Hindu temple, on Sunday I made cookies.  I'm calling them Sri Pecan Cookies.  They were absolutely delicious, radiant.  Brown sugar and toasted pecans made for a deep flavor; topped with caramel and chocolate, these would be a great for anyone with a sweet tooth.  Somewhat crispy but  mostly soft and chewy, just yummy.

Once the batter is done, roll them in the cool toasted pecans.

Bake them for 12-15 minutes at 350.

Let them cool and drizzle caramel, followed by chocolate.

Here's the recipe:
1/2 cup butter, softened
1 & 1/2 cups packed brown sugar
1 egg
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
1 & 1/2 teaspoons baking powder
1/4 teaspoon salt
1 & 1/4 cups chopped pecans, toasted

An Accidental Pilgrimage

Today I traveled to an unknown place.  Once there, I thought perhaps I could consider it my artist's date.  But it turned out to be a spiritual pilgrimage.  See a few of the moments I captured, moments that softened my eyes and heart.  I look forward to turning this inspiration into journaling, art and baking.

LOLLI-FLOP # 2 (the "S" Attempt)

This past week I made Pistachio Cardamom Cookies.  Alas, piping them into an "S" shape 2" by 1/2" gave me lots of trouble.  I piped them too big and placed them too close together.  You really have to place them two inches or more apart otherwise it becomes one BIG cookie mess.  After they were done, I had to break them up into uneven pieces, which doesn't look pretty.  I know they look awful! but they actually taste good.  A really light crisp cookie.  Next time I'll try piping with a smaller tip.

Here's the recipe:
8 oz unsalted butter, softened
1 cup granulated sugar + 2 tablespoons for reserved
1/2 teaspoon ground cardamom + 1//4 teaspoon for reserved
4 egg whites
1 teaspoon rose water
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/4 cup finely chopped pistachios
Oven: 350

SOME FUN WITH PHOTOS

THERE IS ENOUGH LIFE TO GO AROUND

I went to the park this past weekend
and found beautiful life.

 

LOLLI-FLOP #1 and 1/2

LOLLI-FLOP #1: A few weeks back I tried (for the 2nd time) to make lemon cupcakes.  I've learned, because I don't want to waste ingredients, to first make the base of what I'm baking (in this instance the cupcake) and then if the results are satisfactory, move forward with the frosting, garnish, etc.  Well these were a disaster.  To this day I still can't figure out completely what went wrong.  Perhaps I added too much Xantham gum?  In any case, they were not edible--they turned out dry, really gummy, with a raw- like consistency (yes I left them in the oven long enough).  I'm glad I didn't waste any more ingredients by making the ginger buttercream frosting I had planned.

LOLLI-FLOP #2 (really half a flop): This past weekend, I tried making something called Peanut Butter Blossoms.  The directions were so easy there was no way I was going to goof these up.  Think again.  Two things that might've worked against me: 1) the recipe called for brown sugar, I only had dark brown sugar and light brown sugar - so I decided to go with the dark; 2) you're also supposed to just let all the ingredients mix together.  Unlike other recipes, there were no instructions regarding what to mix first and how...so I started with dry ingredients in my KitchenAid.  When mixed well, I followed with the natural peanut butter, extracts, milk and lastly eggs.  They certainly smelled peanut-buttery!  The instructions stated, upon removing from the oven immediately top each cookie with 1 Hershey's Kiss, pressing firmly so the cookie cracks around the edge.  Well, not only did mine not look like a typical cookie, but when I pulled them out of the oven and tested their doneness with my little finger...this is what happened.

With a gasp and a flinch back....
"What...!" I said, "this can't be?!"  Then I tried it with a Hershey's Kiss.

It was beginning to look and feel like a comedy of errors.  They were too soft, crumbly, if I didn' know better I'd swear I just stuck my finger into a ball of packed brown sugar.  And, the crumbly-ness reminded me of the vegan cupcakes I had made the prior day.  Though they tasted peanut-buttery, it just wasn't standing up to the recipe.  Well, with a lot of frustration and determination, I decided not to let the ingredients go to waste--after all they did taste like a cookie.  The more they cooled the more they were of cookie consistency, so I had a plan...  I began melting all of my 22 unwrapped Hershey's Kisses.

Now, I bet you're thinking, problem solved right?  No such luck.  I could not melt the chocolate properly--in fact, the Kisses melted then the chocolate began to harden again!  "Now what's wrong with the chocolate!" I said in disbelief.  (Part of what's wrong is I didn't use a thermometer.)  One has to laugh, but at the time it did not occur to me to do so.  (Now, yes...then, no.)  Again with determination, I decided to melt some Hershey's mini-chips.  I had melted these in the past without a problem.  Were the chocolate gods going to finally smile upon me?  Yes.  The chocolate chips melted beautifully and here were the results.

I started spooning on the chocolate, but quickly found it was much easier to pick one up at a time and dip them in the chocolate.  By then they had hardened enough, like your basic cookie, to do so.  Who would've guessed, the ugly girls at the party turned out to be princesses---and a BIG hit with folks who tried them this week.  So after all of that, something wonderful came of it.  Because these tough girls stuck by me tilll the end, I INTRODUCE YOU TO (drum roll please)....

Peanut Butter Tuffies 

LESSON #1: When life gives you lemons, buy some more lemons until you make the cupcakes you want.
LESSON #2: Never give up...if you do, you will miss out on a miracle, or two.  :-)

AND THEN THERE WERE TWO

When last we "spoke", I was about to embark in a baking frenzy.  Indeed, I was able to make two out of the four recipes: the Twilight Swirl Cookies and the vegan Toasted Coconut Mini-Cupcakes w/Coffee Buttercream Frosting.

THE COOKIES: They tasted good, but didn't turn out exactly how I wanted.  I couldn't figure out how to roll the logs of dough in a smooth and even fashion.  I finally thought, "oh, maybe using the parchment paper will work?"  TIP#1: If you want the dark swirls in the center to come out perfectly, or close to, use the parchment paper to help you roll the dough forward, it will keep things tight, smooth and even.  TIP#2: Don't make things harder for yourself.  While reading a recipe, try not to rush or skim.  In fact, read the recipe through carefully at least twice before starting.  And that was my mistake: I didn't study the recipe, ultimately not realizing the instructions called for using the parchment paper along.  I meant to take pictures of the logs as a HOW NOT TO example but forgot.  The first picture below will show cookies from the logs that were rolled incorrectly, the second picture shows better results.

Notice the broken chocolate lines.

Some of these are better.

Here's an example of what they should look like.  These are called Pinwheel Cookies by La Table de Nana.  But come to think of it, perhaps mine are quite appropriately named Twilight Swirl Cookies (as in the Twilight Zone).


THE CUPCAKES: Although these vegan cupcakes tasted swell, the texture of the cake was crumbly.  In fact when I removed them from the trays, the tops of the cupcakes were actually coming off from the rest of the cupcake body.  I couldn't believe it, here I carefully followed directions because it was my first time baking vengan and still, problems.  I wish I had taken pictures of these too but didn't.  (Don't worry, some photo-flop-opps are coming in my next post, due to a baking attempt earlier today.  What I will call major Lolli-Flops.)  I really like how the vegan frosting tasted, even better than regular frostings I've had.  I'm not a fan of overly sweet frostings.  I usually make a creamcheese/buttercream mix, and I considerably reduce the butter and sugar amounts.  The upside is frosting is light, and many folks who have tasted it love it.  The downside is it doesn't ever seem to stay thick/stiff enough in order to make nice designs with my star tips.  Anyway, the frosting really tasted great, and the cake part too -- except like I said it falls apart when you pick it up.  Something I'll need to figure out when I make them again, because they were totally worth making.

Here I played with the star tip two different ways.

Here they are with toasted shredded coconut.

LESSON #1: Always show up no matter what.  I made a commitment to bring samples of my baking to the woman who owns a food truck at our farmer's market.  Despite my setbacks, I showed up early and delivered a tin with the best of the batch.  I gave her my number and merely said, "just let me know what you think."  You see, this was really about trying to get an honest (hopefully) opinion.  There were no strings attached to this, just simply "what do you think", from someone who's a cook/baker.  LESSON #2: Take risks.  What I made wasn't perfect but I needed to take the risk and say "Hi, I'm here!"  No matter what, it felt good to own my baking space.  Just like this site, no visitors and yet I keep coming back.

This was my complimentary tin.  

Next post: my Lolli-Flops.



STARTING TONIGHT...

Starting tonight and through tomorrow morning, it's going to be a baking frenzy.  A woman who owns a food truck is interested in my baking, so I told her I would bring samples this weekend.  I am going to attempt making two or more of the following: Twilight Swirl Cookies; Peanut Butter Cookies w/Chocolate Center; Toasted Coconut Mini-Cupcakes w/Coffee Buttercream Frosting; and, Carrot-Raisin Mini-Cupcakes w/Maple Cream Cheese Frosting (all gluten-free, the toasted coconut cupcakes will be completely vegan).  It sounds like a lot but I'm only going to make what I can without completely exhausting myself -- especially since I'm making these all for the first time.  This is what being a self-taught baker, some day pastry chef, is all about, right???  Time to get some shopping done, then take a moment to meditate before I start.  Oh look, a thunderstorm has begun outside!  Is that a good luck sign?  Gulp.  I'll post details on Sunday complete with pictures.  Wish me luck...somebody...out there.

HIS HOLINESS, HAPPY BIRTHDAY

His Holiness the Dalai Lama (born July 6, 1935) celebrated his 76th birthday on July 6 in Washington, DC.  I wish I had been in attendance, but his teachings are accessible whenever I need them.

Arun Ghandi (Mohandas Karamchand Ghandi's grandson)

His Holiness the Dalai Lama

Martin Luther King III (Martin Luther King's son)

Mother Nature

The weather has been lovely the last couple of days.  After so much rain, all plant life around me is soaking up the sunshine.  I try to have my camera handy for any possible photo ops.  Lately I can't seem to be without my camera, it's like baking and photography are walking hand-in-hand with me right now.  I'm in the creative flow, and so grateful.  I took photography classes many years ago and loved learning all the ways I could use my camera.  Today, I'm saving my pennies for a good olde fashion camera, the kind where you pick your own f-stops, the kind where it doesn't do it all for you.  Hopefully those cameras still exist.  In the meantime, I'll continue using my trusty Canon Powershot digital camera, which is what I shot these photos with...

OK, I admit it, I can't decide which is more beautiful.  Purple is my favorite color, but Lucien...well...just look at him!

For A Special Someone

Hi there, hope everyone had a great 4th of July!  Boy I've been busy, too busy to post which is not good.  But the flipside is, I was baking.

I had a dinner party recently (which doubled as a little birthday gathering for my special someone) and made three different desserts.  THE FIRST: Ginger Cookies with Lemon Icing.  I used crystalized ginger AND powdered ginger to really give them a spicy bite.  They were great, I was really surprised.  (Though I'm my worst critic, so every time I bake and it turns out great, I'm surprised.)  It was a simple recipe and the fun part was using my Pineapple Tart Cookie Cutter to make the design.

THE SECOND DESSERT: It's what I call Bronx Chocolate Puddles (if you ever find yourself in certain sections of the Bronx after a terrible thunderstorm you'll know why).  Fortunately these are much more appealing.  And, the second batch turned out fantastic!  Yes, I said the second batch.  I found out the hard way: if you leave them in the oven just 2 to 5 minutes too long they will over cook.  And they did.  When they cooled...well, let's just say Fred Flintstone could've used them as wheels for his car.  Thank goodness I still had plenty of time to make these again, and my guests loved them.

MY THIRD DESSERT?  Chocolate Chip Angel Foods Cupcake.  Nope can't show you what they looked like because they did not turn out the way I wanted or imagined.  Nothing really angelic about them, the light airiness was especially missing -- plenty of chocolate chips though!  They turned out too dry and of course when they cooled they shrunk.  I didn't take photos, never do of my flops.  But now that I think about it, I will from now on.  After all, every flop is a successful step forward.  I'll start calling them the "Before&After Lessons"...or something of that nature.  Cheers!